Man Crush vs. Douchebag


EVER SINCE TIGER WOODS stopped being good (at least at what he does on the golf course), it has become a very boring sport played by a bunch of random white people.

So the Masters comes along, one of the biggest events in sports which is openly opposed to women, and for a weekend everyone seems to care about golf again.

Enter Bubba Watson. He isn’t the typical golfer. He’s actually likeable. He uses a pink driver and looks like a frat boy. And just check out his YouTube videos where he does thing like hit golf balls through pumpkins, gives the lamest “Cribs” tour ever, and dresses up like Santa Claus for some sort of slapstick comedy routine. And to top it off he appears in this rap video for charity wearing overalls. And guys, his name is Bubba.

Golf’s biggest problem is it doesn’t have anyone common sports fans can relate to. Tiger Woods had the whole mixed race thing going for him (as well as the whole being incredibly good thing) but even he is one of the least charismatic people ever. Him being charismatic was bouncing the ball on his club and hitting it out of midair. Bubba smashes eggplants. It’s not even close.

It’s basically impossible not to love Bubba. And now that he won the biggest golf event hopefully there will be a lot more Bubba in our life.


SO OZZIE GUILLEN SAID SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL. Not big news. But it dominated the headlines in sports for the entire week. Here’s exactly what he said:

“I love Fidel Castro,” Guillen told Time Magazine. “I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years, but that mother [expletive] is still here.”

As far as Ozzie comments go, that’s pretty tame. And honestly? I respect Castro in that sense, too. It is kind of ridiculous that he is still around. I get that. There’s no malicious intent with his comments at all. He even called Castro a motherfucker.

Unless you are Dan Le Batard, Castro is not Hitler. Not even close. Sure, I didn’t emigrate from Cuba on a floating tire to escape his oppression so my anger is a little different than a Cuban-American’s might be. But Ozzie is the manager of a sports team. He’s not even John Rocker. He just speaks his mind and sometimes says stuff that people jump all over (one of the points of leaving Cuba for America, guys). The way people are protesting the baseball team because of an off-handed comment not intending to harm anyone is just a little much.

I can’t say it was smart for Ozzie to admit his Castro admiration when the team opened a new park in the middle of Little Havana and is already worried about attendance figures. But it’s not reason for people to lose their minds. We go through this loop where an athlete says something stupid, sports writers make it into a huge deal, people get mad, the athlete apologizes, and it’s all forgotten about. It’s dumb. And this stuff over Castro is the culmination of it.

Soon as the Ozzie Guillen witch hunt will be over, and the Marlins will go back to not drawing fans, and Castro will never die. Besides, Castro doesn’t seem that bad. He even likes baseball.

Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter: @scottbolohan

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